Acupuncture
"... Pooch! Rapid dog cured by ancient Chinese treatment!'' 9-14

Advice Columns (see: Dotti, Dear; Sabak, Serena)

Aging
"Amazing miracle herb will make you young again!'' 8-31
"Banish Wrinkles—Fast!'' 10-26
"Gramps, 82, arrested for twitching! Cops thought he as picking up a hooker,'' 10-26
"Granddad goes to jail—'cause judge thinks he knows a secret!'' 10-19
"Granny, 78, Gets Boob Implants!'' 10-26
"How to lie about your age—and get away with it!'' 9-14
"How You Can Live to Be 100!'' 10-19
"Key to long life: Porridge, whiskey and cigarettes!'' 8-31
"Live to be 150—by praying!'' 8-31
"Naked granny scares thieves!'' 10-5
"Oldster gets lost in his own house—and nearly dies!'' 8-31
"The Secret to Old Age—Flexibility!'' 8-3
"Senior Sex,'' 9-21
"You can be a mom at 100, say docs!'' 9-28

AIDS
"Bizarre ... hoax may cost Yale $5 million!'' 8-31
"... blood stolen!'' 8-3
"... carriers banned from swimming in ocean because they're killing the sharks!'' 8-24
"Fidel Castro Gave the World ...!'' 10-19
"My blood brother gave me ...!'' 8-31
"Visit to Lourdes cures ... girl, 4!'' 8-3
"Woman with ... gets 38 months for biting cop!'' 8-17

Airline Travel (see Travel, Airline)

Alcohol (also see Intoxication)
"Beer found on sunken ship!'' 10-5
"Boat dumps 5,000 barrels of wine into Sea of Japan,'' 10-26
"Burglars break into art gallery—and steal $9 worth of booze!'' 8-24
"Cons build secret brewery in prison,'' 10-26
"Drinking beer barefoot could land you in jail!'' 8-24
"Man shoots himself after his canary drowns in glass of wine!'' 9-14
" 'Miracle well' spiked with booze!'' 9-7
"Moonshining making comeback!'' 10-19
"Town serves free booze anytime there's a rainbow!'' 8-24

Aliens, Space (also see: UFOs)
"... capture Shuttle Astronaut,'' (top-secret photo) 8-24
"Doomsday Dragons Heading for Earth!'' 8-3
"I wish ... would kidnap my rotten brats!'' 10-26 (see Dotti, Dear)
"Mars Observer Photographed Giant Fish in Space!'' 10-26
"Missionaries for Mars? Vatican training 24 priests to spread gospel to ...!'' 10-26
"Our space alien neighbors are back, and they're making our lives miserable!'' 8-24
"Radio astronomer picks up SOS from alien moon base!'' 8-31
"Space Alien Baby Survives UFO Crash!'' (photo) 10-12
"... put earth up for sale!'' 10-26
"Spirit-chasing priest saves girl possessed by space creature,'' 8-17
"Study proves it: Most ... are dwarfs!'' 9-14
"3 Captured ... Held in Russian Dungeon!'' 9-7
"World's Most Evil Villains Were Space Alien Criminals!'' 8-3

Allergies
"Food allergy makes sex offender confess to cops!'' 9-7
"Warning! Allergic reactions to exercise can kill you!'' 9-14

Amputees
"A Great White Shark Bit Me in Half!'' (photo) 9-7
"Burglar chops off sleeping man's hand!'' 8-24
"Dead organ donor wakes up after surgeons remove his eyes, a kidney and his left lung!'' 10-26
"Grieving town offers cash to find creep who killed goose with artificial feet!'' 8-17
"Lobster in hot water after biting off chef's finger!'' 9-7
"One-armed man attacks one-legged woman!'' 8-10

Anger, Ed, "My America'' (column)
"Apartment living turns guys into sissies!'' 8-24
"Ban anti-smoking wimps!'' 9-21
"Cancel everybody's debts—& watch business start booming!'' 8-31
"Ed Anger predicts happy days for the rest of the 1990s!'' 9-28
"Ed's readers say kick out the immigrants!'' 8-24
"Every Man Should Have Two Wives...so He Can Send Them Both to Work!'' 8-3
"Fry death row creeps in electric bleachers!'' 9-7
"Greedy docs stick us to pay for their golf clubs and fancy cars!'' 8-17
"I'd Rather Live Next to Prison than a Public School!'' 10-19
"Indians want to scalp the Washington Redskins,'' 8-10
"I tried Hillary's Cookies—and Thought I Was Going to Die!'' 10-26
"It's beginning to look like Christmas & it makes me mad as hell!'' 10-12
"Make surgeons show us our old body parts!'' 10-5
"Stupid Yankee prank has Dixie fightin' mad!'' 9-14

Animals, Communication with
"Scientists will be talking with animals!'' 8-31
"Witch doctor talks with animals!'' 10-19

Animals, Superior
"Animals are more compassionate than people!'' 9-28

Answering Machine
"Creep confesses to murder—on family's ...!'' 10-5

Arguments
"Tips from the experts on how to avoid...'' 8-3

Army, Salvation
"... started in U.S. by a 16-year-old girl—and a town drunk!'' 10-5

Apocalypse, Four Horsemen of the
"...photographed in Argentina!'' (photo) 8-24

Arthritis
"4,000-year-old diet cures ..., cancer, impotence and heart disease!'' 9-21
"WD-40 hailed as miracle cure for ...!'' 10-12

Assertiveness
"How to find your hidden talents!'' 8-17
"How to get rid of pushy salesmen!'' 10-12
"How to tell a busybody to butt out!'' 9-21
"How to turn your friends into slaves!'' 8-17
"You can say no—& still smell like a rose!'' 8-17

Asteroid (see Diamonds)

Astrology
"Use...to keep your lover faithful!'' 9-7
"Your Star Sign Tells if You've Picked the Right Mate!'' 10-19
"Zodiac reveals people's favorite foods!'' 9-21

Attitude, Positive
"Five ways to make your life more exciting!'' 8-31
"How to breeze through life with a cheerful...'' 8-3
"How to cope with disappointments!'' 8-10
"How to Keep Your Chin Up—No Matter What!'' 8-3
"How to put gusto back in your life!'' 8-10

Auto Sales
"Car Buyers Beware!'' 9-21
"Classic cars are worth big bucks!'' 10-12

Auto Repair (see Magic)

Auto Travel (see Travel, Auto)

Baggers, Supermarket
"Supermarket carryout boys make great company presidents!'' 9-21

Baldness
"Church fires preacher for wearing toupee!'' 8-10
"Gal was so shocked by proposal of marriage—her hair fell out!'' 9-21
"Man killed himself because he was going bald!'' 8-17
"Olive oil cures...!'' 8-17

Baron, Red (see Ghosts)

Baseball
"...player fined for kissing an umpire!'' 8-17
"Librarian is the first woman inducted into ... Hall of Fame,'' 10-19
"Sicko teens turn joggers into human baseballs!'' 8-24
"Spectator beaten to death—at Little League game!'' 8-3

Bats
"Islanders Eating Vampire ... into Extinction!'' 10-12
"FBI captures bat boy!'' (top secret photo) 8-31

Bean
"...Grows in Girl's Ear,'' 8-3
"Cop beaned!'' 10-19

Bears
"Bear captured on videotape swimming in hotel pool!'' 8-10
"Fireman legally changes his name to Smokey Bear!'' 8-17
"5-year-old saves sister from bear—by growling!'' 9-28
"The REAL story of the world's most beloved toy! The Teddy Bear!'' 10-12
"Sleeping camper awakened by 500-lb. bear drooling on his face!'' 9-14

Beauty Treatments
"Give yourself an easy fingertip face-lit—and look 10 years younger!'' 10-5
"How to give yourself a $200...treatment for free!'' 8-3
"Quick tips to look and feel more glamorous,'' 8-10
"Sleep in a tub of lard and look 20 years younger!'' 10-19
"The truth about beauty marks and cancer,'' 9-14

Beggars
"Bum makes $600,000 in the stock market!'' 9-7
"Man makes $275,000 a year as street beggar!'' 9-21
"Man Protests Highway...: 'They're Robbing Us Blind!'' 9-7

Belushi, John
"...ghost is haunting Dan Aykroyd!'' 8-10

Bermuda Triangle (see Devil's Triangle)

Bible, Holy
"... is filled with psychic experiences!'' 9-21
"The King who loved to eat bibles!'' 8-31
"Miracle Bible survives fire!'' 10-5
"Moses appears above old apple tree!'' 8-3
"9-year-old girl types the entire Bible!'' 8-31

Bigfoot
"...burial ground found in Oregon!'' 8-10
"...Rampage! 7-foot-tall monster terrorized Tennessee town back in 1976!'' 10-12
"...women are beautiful and sexy!'' 9-7
"Idaho family eats 600-pound ...!'' 10-19

Bikes (see Travel, Bike)

Birds
"Birdbrained holy man has lived in a giant vulture's nest since '68!'' 8-17
"Bird-Nerds Riot Over Cuckoo!'' 8-10
"Eagle Flies Away with Baby!'' 8-3
"Grieving town offers cash to find creep who killed goose with artificial feet!'' 8-17
"Man shoots himself after his canary drowns in glass of wine!'' 9-14

Birthrate (see: Children, General)

Blindness
"Blind man trips over his guide dog—and regains his sight!'' 9-28
"Guide dog leads 4 blind people to their deaths!'' 8-24
"Stockbroker blinded by a newspaper!'' 9-28

Blood, Human
"New candy for vampires is made with...!'' 8-17
"Nurse sues doctor—for squirting her with ... from baby's umbilical cord!'' 10-5
"Real-life vampire drinks...!'' 8-17
"Restaurant served tacos dripping with...'' 8-31

Boats (see Travel, Boat)

Body Odor
"New clinic treats bad breath!'' 10-5
"People can't smell their own stink, say scientists!'' 10-5

Bombs
"Atomic bomb destroyed city 4,000 years ago!'' 8-31
"Couples home bombed—by a corpse!'' 8-17
"From Here...to Eternity,'' (photo of three cops killed by bomb), 8-17
"Three killed by bomb inside wedding cake!'' 9-14

Brain
"Angry widow sues city for losing her husband's ...!'' 10-5
"Florida man screams from his grave: My ... is Missing! 8-3
"Sweat! It keeps your ... from frying!'' 10-5
"Warm brains are smarter!'' 10-5

Breasts, Female
"FBI makes bust in bra theft!'' 10-19
"Gal uses dead hubby's ashes for breast implants!'' 9-21
"Granny, 78, Gets Boob Implants!'' 10-26
"KA-BOOB! Woman's breast explodes while scuba diving!'' 10-5
"Man attacked by 48-inch boobs!'' 8-3
"Millions of people have three or more...!'' 8-24
"78-year-old woman gets breast implants,'' 8-17
"Spigot bra makes breast-feeding a breeze,'' 8-17
"Stripper's steel-tipped tassel flies off boob & kills man, 32!'' 9-21
"Wife kills hubby after he forces her to have breast implants!'' 9-28

Breath, Bad (see Body Odor)

Brides (see also: Weddings)
"Bride busted for wedding day shoplifting spree!'' 8-17
"Bride dumps groom for showing nude pix at reception!'' 8-10
"Bride watches shark tear hubby to pieces!'' 8-3
"My bride ran off with a circus clown—on our honeymoon!'' 8-3

Bullet (see: Guns)

Burglars (also see: Robbers, Armed)
"Arsonist sets house on fire—two...die!'' 8-3
"Brazen...break into prison & rob safe!'' 8-31
"Bungling bandits!'' 9-28
"Burglar chops off sleeping man's hand!'' 8-24
"Burglar cooks up a batch of wings—to go!'' 9-7
"...break into art gallery—and steal $9 worth of booze!'' 8-24
"Cops collar candy bandit!'' 9-28
"Judge blesses church thief with 8 years in prison!'' 9-7
"Lack of control foils burglar!'' 9-7
"Man breaks into organ bank—& steals pair of eyeballs!'' 9-7
"Naked granny scares thieves!'' 10-5
"Stuck cash register cost clerk his life!'' 9-7

Burr, Raymond (see: Homosexuality)

Cabbage
"Earn more money and improve your sex life—by eating...!'' 9-7

Cancer
"4,000-year-old diet cures arthritis, ..., impotence and heart disease!'' 9-21
"It's a miracle! 8-year-old ... girl cured by doctor's ghost!'' 10-5
"Magic words cure doc's ...!'' 9-7
"Stolen dog returned to dying ... boy!'' 8-10
"The truth about beauty marks and ...,'' 9-14
"Tumor tot gets new life!'' 8-10

Cannibalism
"Cannibal tribe gets sick—from eating locusts!'' 8-31
"Cannibal who ate teen is headed for the streets!'' 8-10
"Cannibals in space!'' 10-5
"Human Flesh Smuggled Into Prison for Milwaukee Cannibal's Snacks!'' 8-3
" 'I ate my best friend!' '' 10-12
"Police chief hires cannibals to patrol city,'' 9-14
"Restaurant Owner Barbecues 3 Teens,'' 8-3
"Russian butchers stealing human corpses—and selling them as beef!'' 9-28
"Russian cannibal killed and ate 53 women and children!'' 8-31

Career Advancement
"Gossip your way to the top!'' 9-28

Carrot (see Vegetables, Giant)

Castro, Fidel (see AIDS)

Catholicism (also see: Mary, Virgin; Religious Leaders)
"Image of Virgin Mary mysteriously appeared on cloak in 1591!'' 8-3
"Missionaries for Mars? Vatican training 24 priests to spread gospel to space aliens!'' 10-26
"Monk can heal the sick and change the weather!'' 8-3
"Pope John Paul performed secret exorcism!'' 9-28
"Real-life flying nun floats in the air & heals the sick!'' 8-3

Cats
"Half Dog and Half Cat! 'I've created the perfect pet,' says Minnesota scientist!'' 10-19
"How to train your cat without going bonkers!'' 10-26
"Kitten Saves Gorilla's Life!'' (photo) 8-24

Cavemen
"... were drunken slobs!'' 10-12
"Rich exec quits the rat race—to live like a ...!'' 10-5

Charm
"6 ways to be more charming,'' 9-14

Chickens
"Amazing barking ...!'' 10-19
"Teacher wanted to kill chicken in class,'' 8-3

Children, Amazing
"Coolheaded 7-Year-Old Saves Dying Dad!'' 8-24
"Fisherman catches a live baby boy!'' 10-5
"5-year-old saves sister from bear—by growling!'' 9-28
"Girl, 8, finds winning lottery ticket!'' 10-12
"It's a miracle! 8-year-old cancer girl cured by doctor's ghost!'' 10-5
"The Little Boy With Two Faces!'' (photo) 9-7
"Little Hero!'' 9-21
"Miracle boy falls 13 stories & lands on a mattress!'' 9-7
"Miracle doc brings tot back from the dead!'' 8-31
"9-year-old girl types the entire Bible!'' 8-31
"Salvation Army started in U.S. by a 16-year-old girl...and a town drunk!'' 10-5
"Superkid! Amazing 7-year-old Florida boy lifts 3,000-lb. car with his bare hands!'' 10-5
"Tumor tot gets new life!'' 8-10
"12-year-old boy memorizes every word of 'The Godfather,' '' 10-19

Children, General
"$400,000 party for sheikh's daughter!'' 10-26
"The lower the barometer, the higher the birthrate,'' 8-10
"Man murdered for calling baby ugly!'' 10-12
"Smart kids get more tummy aches than dumb ones do!'' 8-31

Children, Ungrateful
"Kill-crazy kiddies!'' 8-10
"5-year-old wrecks father's $6,000 big screen TV—and wins 'Little Brat Contest,' '' 8-17
"I wish space aliens would kidnap my rotten brats!'' 10-26 (see Dotti, Dear)
"Mom Chains Boy to Coffee Table—so 11-year-old dials 911!'' 9-28
"Son kills dad who worked 23 years to get him out of jail!'' 9-14

Children, Unlucky
"Baby electrocuted when heart monitor is plugged into wall socket!'' 10-5
"Boy, 4, crushed to death by statue of Virgin Mary!'' 9-14
"Dad keeps 14-year-old punk in chains!'' 9-21
"Desperate mom offers to give her baby away—on office bulletin board!'' 10-5
"Drunk-as-a-skunk mom blames car crash on her dead son, 4!'' 10-12
"Gunman makes kids jog in place!'' 9-21
"Hit-and-run pilot flattens 11-year-old girl with his airplane!'' 8-24
"The Little Boy With Two Faces!'' (photo) 9-7
"Michael Jackson was obsessed with MacCaulay Culkin!'' 9-28
"9-year-old girl escapes death sentence!'' 8-31
"Nuke disaster spawns two-headed baby!'' 10-19
"Quints eaten alive by lions!'' 9-21
"Sicko Saddam sentences girl, 9, to death—for stealing loaf of bread!'' 8-10 "10,000 babies smuggled into U.S. inside watermelons!'' 9-2
"10-year-old girl crushed to death by railroad cars,'' (photo) 9-7

Chocolate
"Millionaire buried in ... coffin!'' 10-19
"Mom lives on ...— & nothing else!'' 10-12

Christ, Jesus (see also: Religious Leaders)
"I hugged ... in heaven!'' 8-10
"Walking statue of ... vanishes!'' 9-7
"Jesus' face appears in dishwasher,'' 8-10
"Jesus' cross found in Holy Land!'' (photo) 9-21

Christmas
"Fitness freaks want Santa Claus banned!'' 9-7
"It's beginning to look like Christmas & it makes me mad as hell!'' 10-12 (see Anger, Ed)

Circumcisions
"... in ritzy restaurant shock tourists!'' 10-19

Circus
"Death Under the Big Top! Lion sheds trainer,'' (photo) 9-14
"Families want carnival rides removed from graveyard!'' 8-31
"Trapeze star's ... suicide!'' 9-14

Clams (see: Earthquakes)

Cleopatra
"... was as ugly as a pan of warts, and her breath stunk too!'' 10-12

Clinton, Bill (see: Royal Family)

Clinton, Hillary (see: Cookies)

Clocks
"Calm your nerves instantly: Throw away your watch!'' 8-10
"Eisenhower always wore three watches—even in bed!'' 9-28
"Man pays $18,000 for Hitler's watch—then smashes it to pieces!'' 8-3
"Truck dumps 6,000 alarm clocks on highway!'' 8-10
"Woman ticks like a ...!'' 10-5

Clothes
"Now they've invented a shoe horn for pants!'' 9-21
"Store sold ... stolen off corpses,'' 9-21

Cocaine (see Drugs)

Coffins
"New discount chain will sell cheaper ...!'' 10-5
"Plop! Bodies falling through bottoms of cut-rate coffins!'' 10-12

Collectors
"Collector accidentally drops $430,000 book into swimming pool!'' 10-19

Condiments
"Man gets 10 years in prison for bashing waitress with ketchup bottle!'' 9-21

Convicts (see: Inmates)

Cookies
"Bag of ... causes airport to shut down!'' 9-28
"Human Cookie Monster: Man hasn't touched meat, vegetables or fruit in 19 years!'' 10-19
"I tried Hillary's ...—and Thought I Was Going to Die!'' 10-26 (see Anger, Ed)

Corpse
"Couples home bombed—by a...!'' 8-17
"Murder victim's family dumps ... at killer's door!'' 10-12
"Psychic finds ... of missing Michigan girl!'' 9-7
"Russian butchers stealing human corpses—and selling them as beef!'' 9-28
"Store sold clothes stolen off corpses,'' 9-21

Cow (see: Plumber)

Crawford, Cindy
"CC: A Maniac Stalker Slept in my Bed!'' 8-17

Credit
"Airport X-ray machines zap credit cards!'' 9-7
"Cancel everybody's debts— & watch business start booming!'' 8-31 (see Anger, Ed)
"How to Get off the...Card Merry-Go-Round!'' 8-3

Cremation
"Gal uses dead hubby's ashes for breast implants!'' 9-21
"Woman arrested for stealing 252 cremation urns!'' 10-19

Crocodiles
"Mom crushes croc's head when it tries to bite her baby!'' 10-5

Culkin, MacCaulay (see Jackson, Michael)

Cures, Miracle (also see: Sick, Healing the)
"Bee sting cure for multiple sclerosis,'' 10-19
"Blind man trips over his guide dog—and regains his sight!'' 9-28
"Cure aches and pains with ordinary foods!'' 8-31
"Devil's Triangle heals the sick!'' 9-21
"4,000-year-old diet cures arthritis, cancer, impotence and heart disease!'' 9-21
"Magic words cure doc's cancer!'' 9-7
"Mechanics using magic to fix cars in Indonesia!'' 9-28
"Miracles of the BLACK MADONNA! Portrait of dark-skinned Virgin Mary heals the sick!'' 10-12
"Shocking cure for crazy folks!'' 10-26
"Snake venom cures stroke victims!'' 10-12
"WD-40 hailed as miracle cure for arthitis!'' 10-12
"Wonder cure for headaches—take a walk!'' 9-7

Curses
"The Curse of the Andrea Dorea,'' 8-24
"King Tut's curse strikes again!'' 10-26
"Village terrorized by curse of lady vampire buried alive in 1693!'' 8-24
"Was ocean liner doomed by a killer's curse?'' 9-21

Cyrus, Billy Ray
"Lose 5 lbs. a week—by listening to Michael Jackson and...'' 8-24

Dancing
"Iran sentences two top soldiers to death—for ...!'' 10-5
"Cops arrest man for tap ... on cars!'' 9-7

Davidsen, Harley (see Name, Change of)

Death
"Dead Man is Life of the Party!'' 10-19
"Drunk driver must carry beautiful victim's photo for five years!'' 9-14
"I died and went to hell—for 20 minutes!'' 8-24
"I tried Hillary's Cookies—and Thought I Was Going to Die!'' 10-26 (see Anger, Ed)
"Miracle doc brings tot back from the dead!'' 8-31
"My heart stopped for four hours—but I didn't feel dead!'' 8-3
"100 bodies pulled from Rio Grande!'' 10-19
"3-year-old has died 35 times!'' 8-10
"Woman goes to heaven—and comes back with handful of gold!'' 8-24

Decapitation (see Head, Shrunken)

Deafness
"Deaf people are the best drivers!'' 10-5

Deer
"Motorists do C-section on dying ... and save her unborn fawn!'' 9-21

Depression
"How to break out a bad mood before it kills you!'' 10-19
"The secret misery rich folks hide!'' 10-19

Derek, Bo
"...expects to be traded in for a new 10,'' 8-10

Devil (see Satan)

Devil's Triangle
"Cruise ship vanishes in ...!'' 9-28
"... heals the sick!'' 9-21
"... Rescue Shocker! Lost couple's boat towed to shore by a ghost ship!'' 10-26

Devotion
"Hubby spends 17 hours a day at his wife's grave!'' 8-24

Diamonds
"Crook swallows fortune in...and bleeds to death!'' 8-24
"Divers discover mountain of...on ocean floor!'' 9-14
"NASA tracks asteroid made of ...,'' 10-5

Diana, Princess (see Royal Family)

Dinosaurs
"Brazilian jungle is crawling with ..., says scientist!'' 9-21
"Dinosaur eggs hatch in Nevada—2 creatures escape!'' (photos) 9-7
"Tourist photographs flying dinosaur!'' (photo) 10-26

Dirt
"Teacher fired for forcing students to eat...'' 8-24

Discipline, Child
"Country jails parents for not smacking their kids!'' 8-31
" 'Let your kids do what they want,' says expert!'' 8-31

Dishwasher (see Christ, Jesus)

Diving (see Swimming)

Dogs
"Acupuncture Pooch! Rapid dog cured by ancient Chinese treatment!'' 9-14
"Blind man trips over his guide dog—and regains his sight!'' 9-28
"City spends $50,000—to keep dog on Death Row!'' 9-7
"Dead puppy closes pizzeria!'' 8-3
"Dogcatchers' new weapon: Blowguns!'' 8-10
"Dog saves 82-year-old master—by barking!'' 10-12
"Drug smuggler hid 4.5 pounds of...in the belly of a St. Bernard!'' 8-10
"Globe-trotting dog traveled 146,000 miles by land, rail and sea—all by himself!'' 10-12
"Guide dog leads 4 blind people to their deaths!'' 8-24
"Half Dog and Half Cat! 'I've created the perfect pet,' says Minnesota scientist!'' 10-19
"How much do you know about dogs? Take this test and find out!'' 10-26
"Mutt mugged for $44!'' 8-3
"Poodle survives 400-foot fall!'' 9-21
"Spoiled dog tries to commit suicide,'' (photo) 10-26
"Stolen dog returned to dying cancer boy!'' 8-10
"TV violence has turned my ... into hounds from hell!'' 8-24
"2-foot roaches replacing ... as man's best friend, say scientists!'' 9-7

Dogs, Hot (see Food)

Doherty, Shannon
" 'I'm Not a Bitch,' says 90210 star,'' 9-14

Dolls (see: Toys)

Dotti, Dear "America's Most Outspoken Advice Columnist'' (column)
"Cheapo neighbor asked me out—then stuck me with $490 bill!'' 9-7
"The gal next door is a nudie and I'm getting an eyeful!'' 8-10
"I eat lunch with the boss and office tongues are wagging!'' 9-14
"I married the girl of my dreams and now my life's a nightmare!'' 9-21
"I'm such a handsome hunk I scare off all the women!'' 10-5
"I rained on her parade—so she stormed out of my life!'' 9-28
"I sweeten my marriage with honeys on the side!'' 8-3
"I wish space aliens would kidnap my rotten brats!'' 10-26
"Loving her was easy until I got out of jail!'' 8-31
"My best friend's big bottom is becoming the butt of jokes!'' 8-17
"The restaurant was ritzy—but rug rats wrecked my meal!'' 8-24
"Should I force my son to date my boss's dog-faced daughter?'' 10-19
"We've been married eight months and my wife won't have sex!'' 10-12

Drugs
"Drug smuggler hid 4.5 pounds of cocaine in the belly of a St. Bernard!'' 8-10
"Drug suspect gulps down evidence & chokes to death!'' 8-17
"Smugglers stuff live snakes with cocaine!'' 8-17
"Sneaky chef spikes food with opium,'' 10-5

Dwarfism
"Study proves it: Most space aliens are dwarfs!'' 9-14

Ears
"Diners find human ... in spaghetti!'' 10-12

Earthquakes
"Clams predict ...!'' 8-17

Earthworms
"They're as smart as whips, say experts,'' 8-10

Eastwood, Clint
"Let's put...in the Oval Office!'' 8-17

Eels
"Man chokes to death on eel!'' 10-12

Eisenhower, Dwight D (see Clocks)

Elephants
"Europe's Oldest Circus...Crushes 13 fans during its final show!'' 8-10
"Grieving elephant squashes 44 people!'' 10-19
"Thai government sets up drug rehab clinic for...'' 9-7
"Tiny noisemaker tames wild ...!'' 10-19

Emotions
"Woman foils bandit—by crying!'' 8-24
"Your mate's hands reveal his feelings!'' 10-26

Employment
"Man fired because he showed up EARLY for work!'' 8-24
"Man gets the boot—after he misses work 746 times in 4.5 years,'' 8-3
"Most employees daydream at work!'' 10-26

Excretement
"Baker gives customer cake spiked with laxatives, say cops!'' 9-21
"Bat poop blow ranger station sky-high,'' 8-3
"English Have Zoo Doo Too!'' 8-3
"Man bowled over by exploding potty!'' 8-17
"Man carried 4 miles by tidal wave—of raw sewage!'' 10-12
"Tribe worships camel doo-doo!'' 8-31

Execution
"Birth Control by Electrocution!'' 10-19
"City spends $50,000—to keep dog on Death Row!'' 9-7
"Drunken teens kill pal by wiring him to an electric outlet!'' 8-17
"Firing Squad Screw-Up! Nearsighted soldiers take 9 tries to finish ... !''
"Fry death row creeps in electric bleachers!'' 9-7 (see Anger, Ed)
"Handprint of man executed in 1878 appears on prison wall!'' 10-12
"Iran sentences two top soldiers to death—for dancing!'' 10-5
"Man hanged in 1903 gets new trial,'' 8-17
"Sicko Saddam sentences girl, 9, to death—for stealing loaf of bread!'' 8-10
("9-year-old girl escapes death sentence!'' 8-31)

Exercise
"Aerobic Cooking! Amazing exercises let you melt flab away while you cook dinner!'' 10-12
"Build rippling muscles—and never get off your butt!'' 10-26
"Fitness freaks want Santa Claus banned!'' 9-7
"Gunman makes kids jog in place!'' 9-21
"Millions of joggers are running themselves to death,'' 10-19
"Sicko teens turn joggers into human baseballs!'' 8-24
"Swimmers shocked when pool sinks into river!'' 8-24
"Warning! Allergic reactions to ... can kill you!'' 9-14

Exorcism
"Pope John Paul performed secret ...!'' 9-28
"Spirit-chasing priest saves girl possessed by space creature,'' 8-17
"Vatican ...! Pope John Paul drives shrieking demon from woman's body! (photos) 10-26

Faces
"Kiss a woman and get your nose bit off—it's the law!'' 9-14
"The Little Boy With Two ...!'' (photo) 9-7
"National Face-Smacking Day Canceled!'' 8-3
"Top Secret Photo Proves Humans Lived On Mars!'' (photo) 9-14

Failure, Fear of
"4 easy ways to beat the ...'' 10-26

Falls
"Hopping-mad hotel guest stomps his foot—and ... through floor!'' 9-14
"Mountain climber ... and dies—in his kitchen!'' 10-19
"90-year-old makes 176-foot bungee jump!'' 10-12
"Poodle survives 400-foot ...!'' 9-21
"Pregnant gal leaps from 6th floor fire and flattens her rescuer!'' 10-12

Fatherhood (also see: Motherhood)
"Coolheaded 7-Year-Old Saves Dying Dad!'' 8-24
"Dad Breaks Sex Creep's Legs—with a Baseball Bat!'' 10-19
"Dad sues for support from rich son he abandoned at birth!'' 9-7
"Man cons stepdaughters into sex—to drive the Devil from his body!'' 10-5
"Son kills dad who worked 23 years to get him out of jail!'' 9-14
"Teen brothers hire hit man to kill their father!'' 9-28

Feminists
"Women's libbers are mentally ill, say psychologists!'' 10-19

Films, Nazi
"Lost ... found in lake!'' 10-12

Finances
"Bum makes $600,000 in the stock market!'' 9-7
"Earn more money and improve your sex life—by eating cabbage!'' 9-7
"Getting hit by lightning can make you rich!'' 10-26
"How to tell if you're going down the financial toilet!'' 8-31
"How to trick salesmen into giving you great deals!'' 10-26
"Old toys in your attic can make you rich!'' 9-7
"Penny-pinching janitor socks away $300,000'' 9-28
"Tokyo tycoon is world's richest man!'' 10-26

Fingernails (see: Hands)

Fish (also see: Sharks)
"The Amazing Catfish!'' 8-31
"Fisherman catches a live baby boy!'' 10-5
"Mars Observer Photographed Giant Fish in Space!'' 10-26
"Mermaid mummy found in Oregon!'' (photo) 9-14

Fishing (see: Fish)

Food
"China is going crazy over hot dogs!'' 10-5
"Edible postcards hottest items in French resorts!'' 10-19
"Every time you eat—a miracle begins!'' 9-28
"How to tell 'fact' from 'fiction' about the foods we eat!'' 9-28
"The key to good health: Eat more nuts!'' 10-26
"Killer pasta!'' 9-21
"New England man arrested for bombing passing cars with pasta,'' 8-31

Football
"...coach orders players to have sex with his wife!'' 9-14
"Witch doctor puts curse on pro...team!'' 8-24

Foreman, George (see Hillbillies, Beverly)

Friendship
"Get your friends to eat out of your hand!'' 8-31
"How to turn your friends into slaves!'' 8-17
"My blood brother gave me AIDS!'' 8-31
"9 Surefire Ways to Help a Friend Through a Crisis!'' 8-31
"Want a real friend for life? Choose a woman!'' 10-26

Frogs
"Wacky Hindus hold frog wedding to end drought!'' 9-14

Games, Betting
"Buy a raffle ticket & win a hooker!'' 10-26
"Man goes two years without taking off his boots—to win a bet!'' 10-26
"9 fun bets you can't lose!'' 8-31

Games, Kinky Sex
"Wealthy exec posed as physician to lure women into...!'' 8-24

Garbage
"Mom takes out trash because her son didn't—and gets killed by lightning!'' 8-24
"Rotten...killed man while he slept!'' 9-7

Gender, Change of (also see: Transvestites)
"Is my new boyfriend really a woman?'' (see Sabak, Serena) 8-17
"Man gets three years in jail for switching signs on public rest rooms!'' 10-12
"Sissy French kids trade cards of female impersonators!'' 10-12
"10 Ways to Tell if your Gal was Once A Guy!'' 8-10
"Women's lib leader reveals she—is a he!'' 8-10

Geysers (see: Tourists)

Ghosts
"Amazing Ghost Stories!'' 10-19
"Angry Ghost Throws Pots, Pans, Dishes & Food,'' (photo) 9-14
"Ghost Slaves Haunt Plantation!'' (photos) 9-28
"It's a miracle! 8-year-old cancer girl cured by doctor's ghost!'' 10-5
"Red Baron's ghost appears over France!'' 9-28

Gibson, Mel
"My family sounded like Three Stooges: ...,'' 10-5

Golf
"Golfball crashes party,'' 9-7
"Hole in One! Golfer almost bleeds to death when he stabs himself with a pitching wedge!'' 10-19

Goosing (see Relations, Male-Female)

Graves
"Buried alive—in his mother's grave!'' 10-5
"Killer gets grave sentence!'' 10-5
"Killer tombstone!'' 9-21

Guilt
"Mom takes out trash because her son didn't—and gets killed by lightning!'' 8-24

Gum, Chewing
"9,000-year-old ... found in Sweden!'' 10-5

Guns
"God stole my gun & saved my life, says country star,'' 9-28
"Man buys pistol, then robs the salesman who sold it to him!'' 10-26
"Ohio woman made pregnant—by a bullet,'' 8-31

Haircuts
"Political wisecrack sparks barbershop brawl,'' 9-14
"$2 million lawsuit over bad hairdo!'' 9-21
"Upside-down...hottest craze in Paris!'' 8-24
"Will Julia force Lyle to chop his top?'' 8-31

Hall, Deidre (see Homosexuality)

Hands
"Your fingernails tell how healthy you really are!'' 8-31
"Your mate's ... reveal his feelings!'' 10-26

Happiness
"New survey shows Americans are the happiest people in the world!'' 10-19

Hay (see: Horses)

Head, Shrunken
"...is reunited with body!'' 8-10

Heads, Cockroach
"Supper tasted great—until hubby learned what it was!'' 10-5

Hearts (see: Organs)

Heaven
"Woman goes to...—and comes back with handful of gold!'' 8-24

Height, Lack of [see Dwarfism]

Hell
"Hell is on the planet Venus, says Bible expert!'' 8-31
"I died and went to...— & came back to talk about it!'' 9-7
"I died and went to...—for 20 minutes!'' 8-24

Herbs
"Amazing miracle...will make you young again!'' 8-31

Hikers
"Hiker's backpack stuck between rocks 4 days—with him still wearing it!'' 8-31

Hillbillies, Beverly
"George Foreman: 'The ... rescued me from a life of crime!'' 10-19

History
"American ... you didn't learn in school!'' 9-21

Hitler, Adolf
"... drew comic book!'' 10-12

Homosexuality
"The African Queen! Gay tourist crowned leader of jungle tribe in Gambia!'' 9-21
"Fairy Mason? Did Raymond Burr create an imaginary family to cover his secret sexual identity?'' 10-26
"Gay Bullies Are Making Deidre Hall's Days a Living Hell!'' 10-17
" 'I'm Not Gay!' Funnyman Jerry Seinfeld rips vicious rumors!'' 10-19
"Jack Nicholson to play Gay Edgar Hoover!'' 8-3
"Saddam Hussein's gay lover tells all in blockbuster new book!'' 8-24

Hoover, Jay Edgar (see Homosexuality)

Horns
"People who grow ...: It can happen to YOU, warn docs!'' (photos) 9-14

Horses
"Banker weds four-legged beauty in Atlanta!'' 8-17
"Man ordered to eat hay because he fed his horse junk food!'' 8-24
"World's most pampered horse!'' 10-12

House
"Oldster gets lost in his own...—and nearly dies!'' 8-31

Housework
"Housewives go bonkers over new riding vacuum cleaners,'' 8-3
"Housewife jailed for beating vacuum salesman to pulp with a broom!'' 9-14
"Housewives walk more miles every day—than any other worker!'' 9-14
"Madonna's ultimate fantasy: I wanna be a housewife!'' 10-12
"Salt: It'll clean anything in the house—for just pennies!'' 8-24
"The way you clean house reveals your personality!'' 8-3

Hussein, Saddam
"9-year-old girl escapes death sentence!'' 8-31
"Saddam Hussein's gay lover tells all in blockbuster new book!'' 8-24
"Sicko Saddam sentences girl, 9, to death—for stealing loaf of bread!'' 8-10

Ice Cream
"...cart's music drove man loony tunes—so he shot it!'' 8-3

Illiteracy
"World's top dictionary salesman can't read or write!'' 8-3

Illness (also see: Cures, Miracle)
"Do you suffer from any of these strange symptoms?'' 9-14

Immigrants
"Ed's readers say kick out the...!'' 8-24 (see Anger, Ed)
"Family flees Cuba in style—by stowing away on a cruise ship!'' 9-14

Implants, Heel (see also: Dwarfism)
"... make man 3 inches taller!'' 10-5

Inmates
"Cons build secret brewery in prison,'' 10-26
"Cons pay $2,000 for a carton of cigarettes in smoke-free L.A. jail!'' 8-24
"Jailbait! Superstar model cuts deal with convicts!'' 9-14
"Loving her was easy until I got out of jail!'' 8-31 (see Dotti, Dear)
"Minnesota prison fills empty cells with...from foreign jails!'' 8-10
"Survey shocker: Americans would rather go to jail than be President!'' 8-17
"3 Captured Space Aliens Held in Russian Dungeon!'' 9-7

Intoxication (also see: Alcohol)
"Cavemen were drunken slobs!'' 10-12
"Drunk driver must carry beautiful victim's photo for five years!'' 9-14
"Drunk takes riding mower on a joyride!'' 8-31
"New magazine is just for drunks!'' 8-24
"Salvation Army started in U.S. by a 16-year-old girl—and a town drunk!'' 10-5
"Stupid drunk crashes car into police station!'' 10-26

Inventors
"This man invented laser beams, microwave ovens and neon lights—in the 1800s,'' (photo) 9-21

Investigation, Federal Bureau of (FBI)
"... captures bat boy!'' (secret photo) 8-31

Iraq (see Obesity)

Islands (see UFOs)

Jackson, Michael
"Lose 5 lbs. a week—by listening to...and Billy Ray Cyrus!'' 8-24
"... was obsessed with MacCaulay Culkin!'' 9-28

James, Jesse
"Jesse James' murder hoax,'' 8-24

Japan
"Japanese build UFO and fly super-secret craft to Venus!'' 9-7
"Japanese growing taller on U.S. beef!'' 9-28

Jonestown
" 'I survived the ... massacre!' '' 9-28

Judd, Wynonna
"How ... broke her mother's heart!'' 10-5

Jupiter (see Planets)

Kangaroos
"...are the Einsteins of the animal world!'' 8-24

Kennedy, John Fitzgerald
"... Meets Jackie for the First Time in 30 Years,'' 10-19 (photos)

Kidnapping
"Idiot kidnapper sends ransom note with his return address!'' 9-21

Kissing (also see: Sex)
"Baseball player fined for kissing an umpire!'' 8-17
"Kiss a woman and get your nose bit off—it's the law!'' 9-14
"New class teaches kids how to kiss!'' 10-12
"Pucker Sucker!'' (photo) 9-28

Kite
"Man Flies ... Into Space!'' 10-26

Knuckles, Cracking Your
"... is harmless!'' 10-26

Laughter
"Bizarre disease makes victims laugh themselves to death!'' 8-31

Laundry
"Drying...is a breeze in China,'' 9-7

Language, Bad
"Cuss like a sailor—it's good for you!'' 9-14
"5th-graders wash teacher's mouth out with soap,'' 10-26

Lawyer
"Judge clobbers ... with a garbage can!'' 10-12
"...jailed for wearing owl costume in court!'' 8-10

Laziness
"Are you a no-good lazy bum? Here's the cure!'' 10-26
"How to get everything done—even if you're lazy!'' 9-14
"Lazy People Live Longer!'' 8-10

License Plates
"State nixes 'THNXGOD' license plate because it might offend atheists!'' 10-19

Lifeguards (see Nudity)

Limbaugh, Rush
"...for president—just say when!'' 8-10
"...wants Sharon Stone to have his baby!'' 9-7

Lincoln, Abraham
"Abe Lincoln's corpse revived! Civil War president kept alive for 95 seconds!'' (photo) 10-5

Lions
"Abandoned leopard cub adopts zookeeper!'' (photo) 9-21
"Death Under the Big Top! Lion sheds trainer,'' (photo) 9-14
"Escaped lion seeks refuge in North Carolina church!'' 9-21
"Man used lion to pull cab—until it ate him!'' 8-31
"Mom vows to kill every lion on earth!'' 10-19
"Quints eaten alive by ...!'' 9-21

Lobster
"...in hot water after biting off chef's finger!'' 9-7

Locusts
"Cannibal tribe gets sick—from eating...!'' 8-31
"8-pound killer locusts headed for U.S.,'' 8-17

Longevity
"Five tips to help you live longer!'' 9-21

Lost Items
"How to find anything you've lost in 7 easy steps!'' 10-19

Lottery
"Ex-wife gets ZILCH in $1M ... suit,'' 8-31

Lovett, Lyle (see Roberts, Julia)

Luck
"Couple wins lottery twice in one day,'' 8-17
"Human jellyfish brings good fortune and big bucks to our readers: These lucky readers rubbed his belly and won—and so can you!'' 9-28
"Turn on...like a faucet!'' 8-10
"World's unluckiest woman!'' 9-28

Lunch boxes
"... are deadly on construction sites!'' 10-19

Lungs (see: Organs)

Madonna (see Housework)

Magic
"Mechanics using ... to fix cars in Indonesia!'' 9-28

Marriage (also see: Relations, Male-Female)
"Alabama woman's been married 70 times!'' 10-12
"Banker weds four-legged beauty in Atlanta!'' 8-17
"Contortionist ties the knot!'' 10-19
"Couple who broke up 56 years ago meet again at nursing home—and marry!'' 8-24
"Di will never marry again!'' 8-31
"4 Tips to Help Your Meaty Mate Lose Weight!'' 8-10
"Gal was so shocked by proposal of ...—her hair fell out!'' 9-21
"Henpecked hubby shoots nagging wife to death! She even chewed me out for the way I was holding the gun, he tell cops,'' 10-26
"How to keep your nutty hubby from driving you insane!'' 8-17
"How to tell if your ... is DOOMED,'' 9-21
"Hubby spends 17 hours a day at his wife's grave!'' 8-24
"Lethal Hubby 2,'' 8-17
"Man yanked off roof by safety rope tied to wife's car!'' 8-24
"... Made in Hell! Wimp stays married 88 years—because he's afraid to ask his wife for a divorce!'' 9-28
"Men can't wait to say, 'I do,' '' 10-19
"Most people LOVE their mothers-in-law!'' 8-31
"My husband dumped me—for losing 133 lbs., then ran off with 270 lb. barmaid,'' 8-24
"Reunited couple remarries—51 years later!'' 8-31
"Save a dull...in 4 easy steps!'' 8-10
"Shotgun wedding for Stud, 86—after he makes 84-year-old girlfriend pregnant!'' 8-10
"Top 10 fears of newlywed couples!'' 9-7
"We've been married eight months and my wife won't have sex!'' 10-12 (see Dotti, Dear)
"Wife poses as barroom floozy to catch her cheatin' husband!'' 9-28
"Wives wanted!'' 9-28
"Women who marry younger men have shorter life spans!'' 8-24
"World's shortest ...,'' 9-21

Mars (see: Planets)

Marx, Groucho
"71-year-old run wins ... look-alike contest!'' 9-14

Mary, Virgin (also see Catholicism; Religious Leaders)
"Boy, 4, crushed to death by statue of ... !'' 9-14
"Image of...mysteriously appeared on cloak in 1591!'' 8-3
"Miracles of the BLACK MADONNA! Portrait of dark-skinned Virgin Mary heals the sick!'' 10-12

Mattress
"Image of dead patient's body appears on hospital...'' 8-3
"Miracle boy falls 13 stories & lands on a...'' 9-7

McCartney, Paul
"Ex-Beatle to rocker Ted Nugent: You're stark raving mad!'' 8-24
"Paul's Phone Call Saved My Life!,'' 8-3

McDonald, Ronald
"Animal rights gal hits...in the face with a pie!'' 8-31

Memory
"Man with a two-minute ...!'' 10-12

Menace, Dennis the
"Real-life ...!'' 10-19
"Whatever happened to TV's...?'' 8-3

Mermaids (see Fish)

Mice
"Invasion of 100-pound...threatens life on Earth!'' 8-24
"Nurse fired for serving boss mouse sandwich!'' 10-5
"World's most bizarre religion tells members to worship rodents!'' 10-5

Mind Control
"New Machine Reads Minds—& Tape-Records Thoughts!'' 8-10
"News readers shrink holes in ozone layer—with their minds!'' 9-7
"Pennsylvania family's shocking discovery: We can read each other's minds!'' 8-3
"Students use ESP to cheat on exams!'' 8-24
"Teen Twists Metal Objects—With Her Mind!'' 10-19
"Vengeful psychic wrecks greedy landlors's building—with his mind!'' 8-17

Mishaps
"Man yanked off roof by safety rope tied to wife's car!'' 8-24

Monkeys
"Ape wins $5,000 photo contest!'' 10-5
" 'I created a 500,000-year-old baboon!' '' 9-21

Monster, Sea
"Giant 6-foot snapping turtle terrorizes Connecticut town!'' 10-5
"Lake Erie ... is still on the loose!'' 9-21
"...sinks sailboat in Lake Erie!'' (photo) 8-24

Monster, Space (see Aliens, Space)

Moses (see Bible, Holy)

Mosquitoes
"Mom killed by swarm of vampire...!'' 8-31
"Mosquito Pizza! Man spices his food with juicy insects!'' 10-5
"Radio show zaps pesky...'' 8-10

Motherhood (also see: Fatherhood)
"Desperate mom offers to give her baby away—on office bulletin board!'' 10-5
"Drunk-as-a-skunk mom blames car crash on her dead son, 4!'' 10-12
"Eagle Flies Away With Baby!'' 8-3
"Fixed couple expecting 5th child!'' 8-24
"How Wynonna Judd broke her mother's heart!'' 10-5
"I wish space aliens would kidnap my rotten brats!'' 10-26 (see Dotti, Dear)
"Millionaire pays woman $40G IN ADVANCE to have his baby!'' 9-21
"Mom Chains Boy to Coffee Table—so 11-year-old dials 911!'' 9-28
"Mom crushes croc's head when it tries to bite her baby!'' 10-5
"Mom Gives Birth to 15 Babies—At One Time!'' 8-10
"Mom takes out trash because her son didn't—and gets killed by lightning!'' 8-24
"Ohio woman made pregnant—by a bullet,'' 8-31
"Pregnant gal leaps from 6th floor fire and flattens her rescuer!'' 10-12
"73-year-old has a baby—and gets pregnant again 3 weeks later!'' 8-10
"Son kills self—after finding long-lost mom!'' 8-3
"Spigot bra makes breast-feeding a breeze,'' 8-17
"Supermom: My 15 babies are doing great!'' 9-14
"Teenage moms grow mustaches later in life!'' 8-24
"Teller gives birth during robbery!'' 10-12
"Why does my dead baby scream from the grave?'' 9-7 (see Sabak, Serena)
"Will I ever meet the child I abandoned in 1970?'' 9-21 (see Sabak, Serena)
"Woman carries unborn baby for 41 years,'' 9-21
"Woman has vision of child's murder—after 26 years!'' 8-3
"You can be a mom at 100, say docs!'' 9-28

Mothers-in-laws (see: Marriage)

Motorcycles (see Travel, Bike)

Mowers, Lawn
"Man hurls lawn mower at neighbor—while it's still running, say cops,'' 9-14
"Drunk takes riding mower on a joyride!'' 8-31

Muggers (see Robbers, Armed)

Mules (see: Horses)

Mummy
"Mermaid ... found in Oregon!'' (photo) 9-14

Mutilation, Genital
"Wife sets sleeping hubby's testicles on fire!'' 9-28
"Wife slices off hubby's privates—and tosses it out car window!'' 8-3

Name, Change of
"Fireman legally changes his name to Smokey Bear!'' 8-17
"Motorcycle buff changes name to Harley Davidsen!'' 9-7

Napoleon (see: Transvestites)

Neighbors
"... outraged by naked gardener!'' 9-28
"Our space alien...are back, and they're making our lives miserable!'' 8-24

Newspaper
"Stockbroker blinded by a ...!'' 9-28

Nicholson, Jack (see Homosexuality)

Nigeria (see Roller Derby)

Noises, Strange
"Mysterious hum is driving people stark raving MAD!'' 9-14

Normal
"Are you...or a Nut? Take this test!'' 9-7
"Do you suffer from any of these strange symptoms?'' 9-14
"So you think you're...? See what the experts say,'' 8-10

Nose (see Faces)

Nudity (also see: Pin-ups)
"Angry mom shows up at son's wedding—stark naked!'' 10-12
"Gals want more male nudity!'' 9-28
"Greeks to compete nude in Olympics!'' 10-19
"Just Nude-a-Ful! TV dazzler is looking for a man who will let her pose naked!'' 10-26
"Lifeguard refuses to save drowning skinny-dipper!'' 9-21
"Naked Robber!'' 10-19
"Neighbors outraged by naked gardener!'' 9-28

Nugent, Ted (see McCartney, Paul)

Nurses (also see: Physicians)
"Nurse fired for serving boss mouse sandwich!'' 10-5
"Nurse sues doctor—for squirting her with blood from baby's umbilical cord!'' 10-5
"... fired for smoking—even when they're not at work!'' 8-17

Nuts (see: Food)

Obesity (see also: Weight Loss)
"Countries where fat people are beautiful!'' 9-28
"Emotional problems can make people feel fat!'' 10-5
"Human jellyfish brings good fortune and big bucks to our readers: These lucky readers rubbed his belly and won—and so can you!'' 9-28
"Iraqi soldiers using fat people as human shields!'' 9-21

Oil, Holy
"30-year-old man bleeds healing holy oil,'' 8-3

Oil, Olive (see Baldness)

Organs
"Dead organ donor wakes up after surgeons remove his eyes, a kidney and his left lung!'' 10-26
"Docs transplant a 3rd-hand heart into a 42-yr.-old man!'' 8-10
"Here's how you can get two new lungs for the price of one!'' 8-17
"Man breaks into organ bank—& steals pair of eyes!'' 9-7
"Man drives nail into own heart—and survives!'' 9-28
"Scrambled Egghead Dead at 51: His heart was in his head! His brain was in his stomach!'' 10-26

Ouija Boards (see also: Psychics)
"Is my Ouija board making a fool of me?'' (see Sabak, Serena) 9-28
"Michigan gal using Ouija board to get delicious dishes from dead chefs!'' 9-14

Ozone Layer, Depletion of
"News readers shrink holes in ozone layer—with their minds!'' 9-7

Pasta (see Food)

Paul, Pope John (also see: Religious Leaders)
"... performed secret exorcism!'' 9-28
"Vatican Exorcism! ... drives shrieking demon from woman's body! (photos) 10-26

Penis (see Mutilation, Genital)

Pennies
"Man gets tax bill for a penny from Uncle Sam!'' 9-7
"Mint release five rare ... worth $100s!'' 9-14

Perception, Extra Sensory (ESP) (see Mind Control)

Personality
"How to develop a STRONG ...—even if you're a wimp!'' 10-5
"How you say goodbye reveals your true ...!'' 9-28
"How you watch TV reveals your...!'' 8-17
"The Secrets You Carry in Your Wallet!'' 10-19
"Surefire ways to make people love you, even if you're a stinker!'' 10-19
"The way you clean house reveals your...!'' 8-3
"What you carry in your purse reveals the REAL you!'' 9-28
"Your eyeglasses reveal your ...!'' 9-28

Perverts, Sex
"Dad Breaks Sex Creep's Legs—with a Baseball Bat!'' 10-19
"Peeping Tom boss used hidden mirror to watch lady lifeguards take showers,'' 10-5
"Police nab man for filming up cheerleaders' skirts!'' 9-28

Photography (see Monkeys)

Physicians (also see: Nurses)
"Greedy docs stick us to pay for their golf clubs and fancy cars!'' 8-17 (see Anger, Ed)
"It's a miracle! 8-year-old cancer girl cured by doctor's ghost!'' 10-5
"Make surgeons show us our old body parts!'' (see Anger, Ed) 10-5
"Miracle doc brings tot back from the dead!'' 8-31
"Nurse sues doctor—for squirting her with blood from baby's umbilical cord!'' 10-5
"Sleepwalking surgeon strolls into hospital and performs heart operation!'' 10-12

Pigs
"American bank robber a 'pig hit' in Rome!'' 8-10
"Clever pig farmer makes silk purses out of sows' ears!'' 10-12
"Duchess of Pork! Government bigshot calls Fergie a prehistoric pig!'' 9-7
"Freak explosion sends 500 ... to hog heaven!'' 10-12
"Pigging Out!'' (photo) 9-7
"... stampede through stress seminar!'' 9-28
"Pig-wrestling banned in Austrian nightclubs!'' 8-31
"Scientists breed world's smallest ...!'' 8-31
"Well-loved porkers produce more piglets!'' 8-17

Pin-Ups (see also: Nudity)
"Meet America's No. 1 Pin-Up Girl!'' (photo) 9-7
"My boyfriends were bums, says Playmate of the Year,'' 8-3
"Playboy Playmate of the Year sparks riot in Hong Kong!'' 9-21

Pizza (see Food)

Plan, Secret Government
"... to Give Every American $10,000!'' 10-12

Planets
"Hell is on the planet Venus, says Bible expert!'' 8-31
"Japanese build UFO and fly super-secret craft to Venus!'' 9-7
"Kiss Jupiter Goodbye!'' 10-12
"Mars Observer Photographed Giant Fish in Space!'' 10-26
"Space aliens put earth up for sale!'' 10-26
"Top Secret Photo Proves Humans Lived On Mars!'' 9-14

Plants
"Neighbors outraged by naked gardener!'' 9-28
"...grow better if you pray for them!'' 9-7
"Thirsty ... actually cry!'' 9-28

Plumber
"Food-crazed...dies trying to eat whole cow baked in a giant pie!'' 8-10

Politics
"Political wisecrack sparks barbershop brawl,'' 9-14

Porcupine (see Rape)

Postcards (see Food)

Potato (see Vegetables, Giant)

Power, Abuse of
"Cop arrests whole town when folks threaten to get him fired!'' 8-24
"Country jails parents for not smacking their kids!'' 8-31
"Judge jails speeder for not saying SIR!'' 8-24

Prayer, Power of
"How the Lord's Prayer can work a miracle for you!'' 8-3
"Live to be 150—by praying!'' 8-31
"Plants grow better if you pray for them!'' 9-7

Predictions
"Back to the Future! Guess what Americans in 1893 thought life would look like today!'' 10-26
"Ed Anger predicts happy days for the rest of the 1990s!'' 9-28
"Future...will be taller, smarter and better looking!'' 8-31
"... through the year 2000!'' 10-12

Presley, Elvis
"Painting of Elvis weeps real tears!'' 8-31
"Recipes Fit for the King!'' 9-14

Psychics (also see: Sabak, Serena)
"Amazing! 53% of all Americans are psychic,'' 8-24
"Cornelius Vanderbilt used ... to become the richest man in America!'' 9-21
"Holy Bible is filled with psychic experiences!'' 9-21
"Meet the world's great psychic: Man leads cop to serial killer—with the power of his mind!'' 9-21
"Psychic finds corpse of missing Michigan girl!'' 9-7
"Serena's psychic energy captured on film!'' 9-28
"Top psychic Marilyn Wellman tells how to stop your partner from cheating,'' 9-7
"Vengeful...wrecks greedy landlord's building—with his mind!'' 8-17

Pyramids
"Egyptian teens arrested for skateboarding on ... !'' 9-14
"Great ... are upside down!'' 10-5

Railroads
"10-year-old girl crushed to death by railroad cars,'' (photo) 9-7

Rainbows (see Alcohol)

Rape
"Creep rapes housewife—while his girlfriend videotapes attack!'' 8-17
"Groom rapes maid of honor—at the wedding reception,'' 8-31
"How to stop a rapist dead in his tracks!'' 10-26
"Lady doc fights off ...—with a porcupine!'' 9-7

Recipes
"Michigan gal using Ouija board to get delicious dishes from dead chefs!'' 9-14
"... Fit for the King!'' 9-14 (see Presley, Elvis)

Reincarnation (also see: Death)
" 'My dead sister is reincarnated—as my son!' '' 10-12
"Reincarnated killer commits identical murders—157 years apart!'' 10-19
"... shocker! Poor girls commit mass suicide—to come back as rich ones!'' 9-21

Relations, Male-Female (also see: Marriage)
"Divorced couples admit: 'Breaking up ruined our lives,' '' 10-19
"It's official—Falling in love turns people into nitwits!'' 10-26
"Frenchmen: U.S. gals are cold fish!'' 8-31
"Gals want more male nudity!'' 9-28
"Goosing Day canceled!'' 9-7
"Hey guys! If you wanna meet girls, leave one shoe untied!'' 10-19
"How to beat the blues after a busted romance!'' 9-28
"I married the girl of my dreams and now my life's a nightmare!'' (see Dotti, Dear) 9-21
"I'm such a handsome hunk I scare off all the women!'' 10-5 (see Dotti, Dear)
"I rained on her parade—so she stormed out of my life!'' 9-28 (see Dotti, Dear)
"Is your mate cheating on you? Take this test and find out!'' 10-12
"Jealous granny, 103, uses cane to kill 101-year-old love rival!'' 8-24
"Judge sends man to slammer—for whistling at pretty gal!'' 8-10
"Lover's spat razes roof!'' 8-31
"Loving her was easy until I got out of jail!'' 8-31 (see Dotti, Dear)
"Man jailed for calling judge a 'hot babe!' 8-31
"My boyfriends were bums, says Playmate of the Year,'' 8-3
"My husband dumped me—for losing 133 lbs., then ran off with 270 lb. barmaid,'' 8-24
"Peeping Tom boss used hidden mirror to watch lady lifeguards take showers,'' 10-5
"Romeo dumps gal into shark-infested water after she says no!'' 8-24
"Secret thoughts women have about men's bodies!'' 9-21
"Single gals hot for happily married guys!'' 10-19
"6 Ways to Attract a Love Like a Magnet!'' 10-5
"Supper tasted great—until hubby learned what it was!'' 10-5
"Top psychic Marilyn Wellman tells how to stop your partner from cheating,'' 9-7
"Use astrology to keep your lover faithful!'' 9-7
"Wife kills hubby after he forces her to have breast implants!'' 9-28
"Wife poses as barroom floozy to catch her cheatin' husband!'' 9-28
"Wife takes 1,000-foot death leap over husband's snoring!'' 10-5 (photo)
"Will the man of my dreams end this nightmare?'' (see Sabak, Serena) 9-14
"Your mate's hands reveal his feelings!'' 10-26

Relations, North-South
"Stupid Yankee prank has Dixie fightin' mad!'' 9-14 (see Anger, Ed)

Relations, U.S.-France
"Frenchmen: U.S. gals are cold fish!'' 8-31

Relations, U.S.-Soviet
"From Russia with Lust! Warning: A Soviet Sexpot is After Your Man!'' 10-5
"Soviets leave U.S. holding bag for $4 million in parking tickets!'' 8-31
"U.S. buys captured UFO—from Russia,'' (photo) 8-31

Religions, Bizarre
"Bizarre new religion is a barrel of laughs!'' 10-5
"World's most bizarre religion tells members to worship rodents!'' 10-5

Religious leaders
"Birdbrained holy man has lived in a giant vulture's nest since '68!'' 8-17
"Feuding gurus turn each other into stone!'' 8-10
"God stole my gun & saved my life, says country star,'' 9-28
"Minister fired for eating club sandwich during his sermon!'' 9-14
"Miracle of the nun who stops fires!'' 10-19
"Missionaries for Mars? Vatican training 24 priests to spread gospel to space aliens!'' 10-26
"Pope John Paul performed secret exorcism!'' 9-28
"Priest flew into outer space over 300 years ago!'' 9-21
"Spirit-chasing priest saves girl possessed by space creature,'' 8-17
"Vatican Exorcism! Pope John Paul drives shrieking demon from woman's body! (photos) 10-26

Reunions
"Couple who broke up 56 years ago meet again at nursing home—and marry!'' 8-24
"Divorced couple remarries—51 years later!'' 8-31

Rivals, Love
"Jealous granny, 103, uses cane to kill 101-year-old love rival!'' 8-24
"... duel with an ax and a sword!'' 10-12

Roaches
"2-foot roaches replacing dogs as man's best friend, say scientists!'' 9-7

Robbers, Armed (also see Burglars)
"American bank robber a 'pig hit' in Rome!'' 8-10
"Bank robber busted after giving his phone number to sexy teller!'' 8-10
"Bank robber sues guard for shooting him during holdup!'' 8-31
"Bank Robbery? It's legal!'' 10-5
"Cops nab stuttering bank robber!'' 10-5
"Gun-toting GRANNIES rob five banks!'' 9-7
"Mugger beaten to a pulp by burly transvestites!'' 8-17
"Naked Robber!'' 10-19
"Robber calls bank to thank 'em for the loot!'' 9-7
"Sweet-toothed bandit eats his candy gun!'' 10-26
"Teller gives birth during robbery!'' 10-12
"Woman foils bandit—by crying!'' 8-24
"Would-be bank robber shows up an hour late!'' 9-21

Roberts, Julia
"Will Julia force Lyle to chop his top?'' 8-31

Rockets
"Runaway rocket flies up man's pants!'' 8-17

Roller Derby
"Nigeria goes bonkers over ...!'' 10-19

Royal Family
"Di will never marry again!'' 8-31
"Duchess of Pork! Government bigshot calls Fergie a prehistoric pig!'' 9-7
"Princess Di vows: I'm going to marry Bill Clinton!'' 9-21

Russia (see Aliens, Space)

Sabak, Serena, "America's Sexiest Psychic'' (also see Psychics)
"Is my new boyfriend really a woman?'' 8-17
"Is my Ouija board making a fool of me?'' 9-28
"Is the demon in my mirror trying to kill me?'' 10-5
"Serena, will the world end in the year 2000?'' 8-24
"Serena's psychic energy captured on film!'' 9-28
"Should I sell my soul for a Lincoln Town Car?'' 10-26
"Was that my dead husband on the telephone?'' 10-19
"Where is the treasure I buried in my past life?'' 8-3
"Why does dead uncle's ghost haunt my closet?'' 8-10
"Why does my dead baby scream from the grave?'' 9-7
"Why do my new shoes walk by themselves?'' 10-12
"Why hasn't Mom spoken to me in 15 years?'' 8-31
"Will I ever meet the child I abandoned in 1970?'' 9-21
"Will the man of my dreams end this nightmare?'' 9-14

Salt (see Housework)

Sasquatch (see Bigfoot)

Satan
"My toilet is possessed by the devil!'' (photo) 8-31
"Is the demon in my mirror trying to kill me?'' 10-5 (see Sabak, Serena)
"Man cons stepdaughters into sex—to drive the Devil from his body!'' 10-5
"Satan's skull found in New Mexico,'' (photo) 8-17
"Satan's skull stolen!'' 9-14

Schiffer, Claudia (see Inmates)

Scuba diving (see Breasts, Female)

Seinfeld, Jerry (see Homosexuality)

Sex
"Earn more money and improve your...life—by eating cabbage!'' 9-7
"Football coach orders players to have...with his wife!'' 9-14
"Hard Hat...!'' 9-7
"Hey Guys, Here's What Turns Gals On!'' 8-17
"Holy-roller wives are hot to trot!'' 8-3
"How to put the ZING back in your...life,'' 8-3
"How to talk to your lover about...!'' 9-7
"Man cons stepdaughters into ...—to drive the Devil from his body!'' 10-5
" 'Shoplifting is better than...,' says mom of two!'' 8-17
"Musclemen: Tops in the gym—but flops in the sack!'' 9-28
"Naked lovebirds stole the show at outdoor concert!'' 9-28
"Senior ...,'' 9-21
"Sex Education! Teach romanced teen beauties 7 times a week!'' 10-26
"Wealthy exec posed as physician to lure women into kinky games!'' 8-24
"We've been married eight months and my wife won't have sex!'' 10-12 (see Dotti, Dear)
"You can tease girls with...jokes in S.C.—and it's legal!'' 8-10

Sharks (also see: Fish)
"A Great White Shark Bit Me in Half!'' (photo) 9-7
"AIDS carriers banned from swimming in ocean because they're killing the...!'' 8-24
" 'I was attacked by a shark—in my living room!' '' 9-21
"Romeo dumps gal into...-infested water after she says no!'' 8-24

Shatner, William
"Captain Jerk: 'Enterprise' Crew Hated My Guts!'' 8-31

Shaving (see: Trivia)

Shoes
"Man goes two years without taking off his boots—to win a bet!'' 10-26
"Why do my new ... walk by themselves?'' 10-12 (see Sabak, Serena)
"Woman pays doc $3,000—to remove her...!'' 8-24

Shoelaces
"Gal works with her...tied together—for FIVE weeks!'' 8-31

Shoplifting
"Most shoplifters are after a steak and some cigarettes!'' 8-31
" '...is better than sex,' says mom of two!'' 8-17

Sick, Calling in (see: Employment)

Sick, Healing the (also see: Cures, Miracle)
"Dead Girl Cures the Sick!'' 8-17
"Monk can...and change the weather!'' 8-3
"Real-life flying nun floats in the air &...!'' 8-3
"12,000-yr.-old crystal skull heals the sick!'' 10-26

Skateboarding (see Pyramids)

Skinny-dipping (see: Nudity)

Skulls
"Man stacks 11...for new world record!'' 8-17
"Satan's skull found in New Mexico,'' (photo) 8-17
"Satan's skull stolen!'' 9-14
"12,000-yr.-old crystal skull heals the sick!'' 10-26

Skunks
"...are gentle little stinkers who get rid of bugs, mice and garbage,'' 8-24

Sleep
"How to...like a baby every night!'' 8-10

Sleepwalkers
"...Destroy Hotel!'' 8-3
"Sleepwalker steps out of camper going 65 mph!'' 10-5
"Sleepwalking surgeon strolls into hospital and performs heart operation!'' 10-12

Smoking
"Ban anti-smoking wimps!'' 9-21 (see Anger, Ed)
"Cons pay $2,000 for a carton of cigarettes in smoke-free L.A. jail!'' 8-24
"New airline for smokers only!'' 10-5
"Nurses fired for...—even when they're not at work!'' 8-17
"Restaurant employees: Beware of lung cancer!'' 10-5
"Smoker tries to overdose on cigarettes & nicotine patches,'' 9-28
"12-inch-long cigarettes!'' 10-5

Smuggling, Drug (see: Drugs)

Snakes
"Crook pays price for hiding...in his pants!'' 8-17
"Golfer jailed for throwing a...at his partner!'' 8-3
"Python bites the hand that feeds him— & won't let go!'' 9-21
"Smugglers stuff live...with cocaine!'' 8-17
"Snake venom cures stroke victims!'' 10-12
"Snakes Alive! Man gobbles wiggly critters by the bucketful!'' 8-31

Sneezing
"... epidemic kills 47: Bizarre virus makes victim 'Ah-Choo' as much as 50 times a minute!'' 10-26
"The village where no one sneezes!'' 10-12

Snoring, Reaction to (see Suicide)

Soap
"...-on-a-rope sweeping India!'' 8-17

Soldier, Petrified
"2,800-year-old ... found in quicksand pit!'' 10-12

Soot
"... kills thousands of Americans each year!'' 10-12

Soul, Human
"Should I sell my soul for a Lincoln Town Car?'' 10-26 (see Sabak, Serena)
"The human soul weighs 1/3,000th of an ounce!'' 10-19

Spear
"... pierces man's brain—& he survives!'' 8-3

Spiders
"I survived an attack by black widow ...!'' 8-24
"... defeated Hitler during World War 2!'' 8-10

Squirrel
"Daredevil...killed in skiing mishap,'' 8-3

Star Trek (see Shatner, William)

Stewart, Rod
"Rocker Rod to supermodel wife: Stop being a limo bimbo!'' 10-19

Stone
"Feuding gurus turn each other into...'' 8-10

Stone, Sharon (see Limbaugh, Rush)

Stooges, Three (see Gibson, Mel)

Stress Management
"Calm your nerves instantly: Throw away your watch!'' 8-10
"How to blow your top—without killing yourself,'' 8-10
"How to keep your cool if you're about to blow your top!'' 10-26
"How to simplify your life and be happier!'' 8-10
"Pigs stampede through stress seminar!'' 9-28
"Wild and wacky ways to relieve STRESS,'' 9-28

Strippers, Deadly
"Stripper's steel-tipped tassel flies off boob & kills man, 32!'' 9-21

Students
"5th-graders wash teacher's mouth out with soap,'' 10-26
"School showing X-rated videos to 8th graders!'' 8-24
"...use ESP to cheat on exams!'' 8-24
"Teacher beats boy senseless—for wearing pink curlers!'' 10-12
"Teacher fired for forcing...to eat dirt'' 8-24
"Teacher sues...for making fun of him in school play!'' 8-31

Subways
"Subway Cars—For Women Only!'' 10-19
"Subway cars—for women only!'' 10-26

Suicide
"Diver leaps to her death from 207-foot balcony!'' 8-31
"Man killed himself because he was going bald!'' 8-17
"Man videotapes his own...!'' 8-31
"Reincarnation shocker! Poor girls commit mass ...—to come back as rich ones!'' 9-21
"Smoker tries to overdose on cigarettes & nicotine patches,'' 9-28
"Spoiled dog tries to commit suicide,'' (photo) 10-26
"Trapeze star's circus suicide!'' 9-14
"TV station broadcasts suicide to boost ratings,'' 10-5
"Wife takes 1,000-foot death leap over husband's snoring!'' 10-5 (photo)

Sweat (see Brain)

Swimming
"Diver leaps to her death from 207-foot balcony!'' 8-31
"Swimmers shocked when pool sinks into river!'' 8-24

Sword Swallower
"... chokes to death on a piece of steak!'' 8-31

Syrup, Chocolate
"Man rescued from vat of ...!'' 9-14

Tacos (see: Blood, Human)

Tapeworm
Electron microscope photo of... 8-3

Taxes (see Pennies)

Teachers
"5th-graders wash teacher's mouth out with soap,'' 10-26
"Sex Education! Teach romanced teen beauties 7 times a week!'' 10-26
"Teacher beats boy senseless—for wearing pink curlers!'' 10-12
"Teacher fired for forcing...to eat dirt'' 8-24
"Teacher sues...for making fun of him in school play!'' 8-31

Teenagers
"Cannibal who ate teen is headed for the streets!'' 8-10
"Drunken teens kill pal by wiring him to an electric outlet!'' 8-17
"Egyptian ... arrested for skateboarding on pyramids!'' 9-14
"Hooked on water! Pretty teen guzzles 6 gallons a day!'' 9-7
"Most...believe in angels, says new poll,'' 8-17
"Parents leave teen behind at highway rest stop,'' 8-24
"Restaurant Owner Barbeques 3...,'' 8-3
"Sex Education! Teach romanced teen beauties 7 times a week!'' 10-26
"Sicko ... turn joggers into human baseballs!'' 8-24
"Teenage moms grow mustaches later in life!'' 8-24
"Teen brothers hire hit man to kill their father!'' 9-28
"Teen gunned down at Russian roulette party!'' 10-12
"Teen Twists Metal Objects—With Her Mind!'' 10-19

Teeth
"Do-It-Yourself Dentist! Trucker fixes his family's ... with garage tools!'' 10-12
"Generation Gap!'' (photo) 9-28
"Mom who had teeth pulled by mistake making big bucks modeling dentures!'' 10-12

Television
"8 Ways to Have Fun—without watching ...!'' 10-19
"How you watch...reveals your personality!'' 8-17
"... station broadcasts suicide to boost ratings,'' 10-5
"... violence has turned my dogs into hounds from hell!'' 8-24
"Tube Boob! Man shot in face bleeds to death because he won't stop watching ...!'' 10-5
"Wow! New gizmo lets you watch ... while you drive!'' 9-14

Terrorists
"Real-life Rambo declares war on Mideast..,'' 8-3

Testicles (see Mutilation, Genital)

Tickets, Parking (see: Relations, U.S.-Soviet)

Time Management
"How to get everything done—even if you're lazy!'' 9-14
"How to put zip into your dead time!'' 8-3
"How to turn your spare time into BIG BUCKS!'' 10-12

Tires (see Travel, Auto)

Toes
"Are you TOE-RRIFIC?'' 8-31

Tongues, Human
"Cops find 560 ... hidden in man's apartment!'' 9-14

Toilets, Exploding
"Man bowled over by exploding potty!'' 8-17

Toilets, Odorless
"No-Embarrassment Potty!'' 10-12

Toilets, Possessed
"My toilet is possessed by the devil!'' (photo) 8-31

Tombstones (see: Graves)

Torture
"...chamber is hot nightspot!'' 8-10

Tourists (also see: Vacation)
"Geyser blast scalds ... posing for photos!'' 9-28
"Tourist photographs flying dinosaur,'' (photo) 10-26

Toys
"New! A doll with Down's syndrome!'' 10-12
"Old...in your attic can make you rich!'' 9-7
"The REAL story of the world's most beloved toy! The Teddy Bear!'' 10-12
"Was family murdered by a doll?'' 9-14

Transvestites (also see Gender, Change of)
"Isn't HE lovely!'' (photo) 8-24
"Mugger beaten to a pulp by burly transvestites!'' 8-17
"Napoleon was half man—and half woman!'' 8-24

Travel, Airline
"Baggage handler naps—and wakes up 2,000 miles away!'' 8-17
"Bag of cookies causes airport to shut down!'' 9-28
"Car collides with airplane!'' 10-5
"Hit-and-run pilot flattens 11-year-old girl with his airplane!'' 8-24
"Man disguised as lady soap opera star cons airline into free flight!'' 8-17
"New airline for smokers only!'' 10-5
"Pilot gives up his seat in mid-flight!'' 8-17

Travel, Auto
"Deaf people are the best drivers!'' 10-5
"Car collides with airplane!'' 10-5
"Cops chase driverless car for 25 minutes!'' 10-19
"Dad-to-be delivers baby as he drives!'' 10-26
"High Wire Act!'' (photo) 8-17
"Judge jails speeder for not saying SIR!'' 8-24
"New England man arrested for bombing passing cars with pasta!'' 8-31
"Motorists do C-section on dying deer—& save her unborn fawn!'' 9-21
"Parents leave teen behind at highway rest stop,'' 8-24
"Should I sell my soul for a Lincoln Town Car?'' 10-26 (see Sabak, Serena)
"Sleepwalker steps out of camper going 65 mph!'' 10-5
"Stupid drunk crashes car into police station!'' 10-26
"Tire Kills Man!'' 9-28
"Wow! New gizmo lets you watch TV while you drive!'' 9-14
"Wrong turn lands pair 250 miles from home!'' 8-17

Travel, Bike
"Daring pair riding bicycles to North Pole!'' 9-14
"Motorcycle buff changes name to Harley Davidsen!'' 9-7

Travel, Boat
"Beer found on sunken ship!'' 10-5
"Boater killed by falling video camera!'' 8-17
"Cruise ship vanishes in Devil's Triangle!'' 9-28
"The Curse of the Andrea Dorea,'' 8-24
"Family flees Cuba in style—by stowing away on a cruise ship!'' 9-14
"Ghost Ship Sighted in Florida,'' 9-7
"Survival at Sea!'' 9-21
" 'UFO was as big as an ocean liner!, say stunned cops,'' 9-28
"Was ocean liner doomed by a killer's curse?'' 9-21

Travel, Space
"Americans landed on the moon—in 1890!'' 10-12
"Man Flies Kite Into Space!'' 10-26
"Mars Observer Photographed Giant Fish in Space!'' 10-26
"Missionaries for Mars? Vatican training 24 priests to spread gospel to space aliens!'' 10-26
"Priest flew into outer space over 300 years ago!'' 9-21

Trees
"Tree kills man as he carves his name in it!'' 10-5

Tribes
"The African Queen! Gay tourist crowned leader of jungle tribe in Gambia!'' 9-21
"Prehistoric tribe found!'' 10-12