40 movie clichés

ALIENS All members of alien species wear the same outfits.
ANIMALS Snakes always attack the lone woman in the group.
BOMBS Evil geniuses who build bombs are always thoughtful enough to include a visible time display.
CARS When you are alone in the back seat of the car, make sure you sit in the middle.
CHILDBIRTH Every woman uses Lamaze (pant method).
CLOTHING Whenever anyone knocks out anyone else and takes their clothes, they always fit perfectly.
COMPUTERS Any "Permission Denied" message always has an "Override Password" function. // When the power plant/missile site overheats, all the control panels explode.
CONVERSATIONS Two people will often converse while one stares out the window, with their back to the other. When an emotional point is made, the first person will turn around.
DRINKING A cup of black coffee/splash of cold water in face is enough to render the most inebriated person stone cold sober.
EVIDENCE The photo that provides incriminating evidence is never on top of the pile.
FIGHTS If a character uses martial arts, his opponents will always face him one-to-one. Spare bad guys may dance around the fight taunting our hero, but none will engage until his predecessor has been disposed of.
GLASSES "Little girls who wear glasses in movies always tell the truth. Little boys who wear glasses in movies always lie." (Gene Siskel)
HEROES The hero's best friend/partner will be killed by the bad guys three days before retirement. // After a fight, the hero will always wipe blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, then look at it. // A hero will show no pain even during the most terrific beating, yet he will wince if a women attempts to clean a facial wound.
INJURIES The hero always gets shot in the shoulder.
MEDICAL More often than not, the best method to revive somebody after their heart has stopped, assuming that there has already been a lengthy attempt to revive them with CPR or those electric zapper things, is screaming at them something like: "You've never backed away from anything in your life, now fight! Fight! FIIIIGHT!" or "You can't do this to me! I love you, goddammit!"
MIDDLE AGES Medieval peasants always have filthy faces, tangled hair, ragged clothing and perfect teeth.
MINORITIES Native Americans all have mystical knowledge.
NIGHTMARES Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright in bed.
PHONES Always knock over the phone if it wakes you up. // On the subject of phones, how about variations of the Bob Newhart-style conversation where we only get to hear one side of the discussion, as in: "Marilyn hasn't shown up at the lawyer's office yet? (pause) And you already called Bill's? (pause) What did he say? (pause) He hasn't seen her either. (pause) So, John's getting nervous? (pause) He's going to call the police?" If I'm not mistaken, the conversation must have gone like this: "Marilyn hasn't shown up at the lawyer's office yet." "Marilyn hasn't shown up at the lawyer's office yet?" "No, and I've already called Bill's." "And you already called Bill's?" "Yes." "What did he say?" "He hasn't seen her either." "He hasn't seen her either." "John's getting pretty nervous about this." "So, John's getting nervous?" "Yes, he's going to call the police." "He's going to call the police?"
RADIO & TV A character turns on the radio in time to hear a special announcement. He or she then turns the radio off.
SEX All beds have a special L-shaped top sheet, which reaches up to armpit level on women and waist level on men. // Women who have just finished a steamy lovemaking session always lie back and pull the sheets up to their necks.
SHOPPING Every set of grocery bags contains at least one baguette sticking out of the top.
SPORTS In any sports movie, a player on the field can look up into a crowd and immediately spot their loved ones.
SWORDPLAY During a duel, the hero will jump onto a table that raises him above the villain, who will swipe at the hero's legs, which the hero avoids by jumping over the blade.
TRAFFIC When a character has to cross the street, he or she can always cross immediately. If he or she jogs across, it is in order to miss the one car that drives by after they cross.
VILLAINS No matter how dead you think you've killed a bad guy, he can still get up. Therefore, always make sure to leave his gun in or near his hand after you've killed him and you turn away to comfort the girl. // Whenever a villain has captured the hero, he will take five minutes to tell the hero every detail of his plan to rule the earth. // The bad guy, instead of simply offing the captured good guy on the spot, will devise some sort of drawn-out, fiendishly clever method of execution.
WAR You're very likely to survive any battle in any war, unless you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
WEAPONS The first shot by a bad guy always misses. // When the villain runs out of bullets, he throws away his gun. // If the good guy is driving, he simply ducks a little to avoid bullets. // Shots fired at guys hiding around corners always strike the edge of the building at eye level.
WOMEN Women fight by pulling hair, falling to the ground together and rolling around.
WOOD No matter how thin, it's a safe shield against bullets.