ann landers gets happy

What is happiness?
Some people find great happiness in misery. You know about those people?

I've read about them, sure.
But you want to know who our heroes will be, things like that?

Yes, start with that.
We used to have heroes from literature, or medicine, or this sort of thing. During the next decade it's going to be television stars.

Television stars?
This is what people are looking at. Sports figures, rock stars, musicians.

I've been hearing about America's return to simple values. What do you make of that?
I haven't seen any evidence of that. I see that people admire, much to my consternation, characters like Donald Trump, with the conspicuous consumption. And the fact that some of these people are crooks, deadbeats, liars — I'm not calling him these names, of course.

Of course.
I'm talking about high rollers like Michael Milken, these big rip-off guys.

Yet he went to jail. Did that teach us a lesson?
I don't know. They still admire him as the guy who made $550 million in one year.

You don't make that much with your column? [laughs].
Well, not this year [doesn't laugh].

Conversation continues with Ann's observations on marriage, consumerism, etc.

Any other thoughts?
Who else are you talking to?

Let's see. Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Oh, forget her.

Erma Bombeck.
She'll be great.

Jerry Seinfeld.
He's wonderful.

Roger Ebert.
Roger's awfully good.

Conversation continues. Yeah, yeah, good, good.

You have good people there. But I don't like to be in a group with four advice columnists.

I was only calling Dr. Ruth to get sex advice.
Well, the other one [Brothers], you're not going to get anything original or great... Say, do you want a picture?

Sure!
Black and white, or color?

Color, please.
Wonderful, Chip. You sound like a neat guy.