age before beauty Let me start by saying that I've reached the age of 26 without losing any limbs or too many friends. I watch "60 Minutes" every week, listen to classical music when it's raining and have skimmed Masters and Johnson.
I've lived in the same apartment for nearly two years, enjoy my job and supply condoms when asked. And I'm all ears—if you don't talk too long.
Yet despite these abundant signs of maturity, I can't wait until the day I'm ten years older, a nimble 36, so I can get laid regularly. It seems that nowadays every woman in her 20s has the hots for some Romeo who's at least 10 years older.
Curious about what some guy in his 30s or beyond has that I don't (not including less hair), I asked some female friends about it one night at the local bar. They all laughed heartily, and Laura, who's dating a 34-year-old, waved me off by saying, "You're too young to understand."
Now I had to know more. I turned my back to the ballgame on the TV over the bar, gulped down my beer and employed my most effective technique to get women talking: I shut up. It worked like a charm.
Here, my brothers, is what the women had to say (followed by my clever comebacks on your behalf):

Men in their 30s are emotional gurus.
Women usually mature faster than men. Therefore, according to my friends, younger women like older guys because they're on the same developmental level.
But after listening to my barmates discuss this point for 10 minutes, I couldn't tell if they were talking about men or ponies. "I've broken Biff's spirit," Laura said proudly at one point. "Our arguments don't go round and round because he understands my emotions."
"You've got him trained!" explained Cathy, congratulating her. "Legions of women before you have made him understand that we're not going to take any bullshit."
Men in their 20s, on the other hand, were compared to children. "You guys act like you're still in some frat," Marla said, shooting me a look of disapproval. "You're preoccupied with sex and status and having a great-looking girlfriend and getting laid regularly." I shrugged. It was getting ugly.
That's when they got rolling. "Guys in their 20s call and they say they want to see you, so you get all excited and brush your teeth and comb your hair, trying to look nice," Carrie chimed in through gritted teeth. "And then they arrive all sweaty and gross and what they really want to do is to watch your TV and eat your food."
Comeback: "Oh yeah?! Oh yeah...?!" But then my order of fries arrived and the Mets scored on a double to left, so I had to watch the game for a minute.

Men in their 30s are better lovers.
For some reason, when this came up, my friends all smiled. "I suppose guys in their 20s could have as much experience as Dave," Cathy said about her 37-year-old beau, "but they'd have had to start when they were about 10."
"You know what's great? Guys in their 30s don't care what you look like," Laura chimed in, taking a sip of her light beer (which she needs, because she's a little pudgy). "Around younger guys, I'm worried that my butt isn't tight enough, or that my thighs aren't skinny enough. But by the time they reach their 30s, men know we come in all shapes and sizes. 'You're fabulous no matter what'—they know that's a good message to send."
I don't remember much of the rest of this topic, because it got kind of boring. But Carrie said something like "...more attentive to my needs." And Laura added, "They know the plumbing!" Then Heather said, "And they can get the snaps open!" That really cracked them up.
Clever comeback: "You guys just haven't had me!" Right then, our totally hot waitress leaned over the next table and I lost my train of thought.

Men in their 30s offer more stability.
Carrie argued that 30ish men are less reckless because they have more routines. Also, that they "hang onto whatever they can get because they're closer to death."
Cathy nodded. "I can just imagine some guy in his 20s telling me, 'Oh, honey, I decided to join the Peace Corps. Will you wait?' Oh sure, I'll wait—for someone older!"
They thought that was hysterical.
"Guys in their 30s are also much less cocky; life has already dealt them some blows," Laura added after the giggle-fest was over. "I think women are born world-weary, but men have to acquire it."
Clever comeback: "Give me a fucking break!" Good one, huh? You know, the more I think about it, that waitress wanted me.

Men in their 30s have more money.
"Not that it's the most important thing," Marla insisted, "but he's got a steady job and doesn't bitch about how much he hates it. And he's probably got some money socked away in investments or something."
I yawned.
"There is one good thing about guys in their 20s," Heather conceded. "They will spend every last dime on you, and all you have to do is sleep with them. So it's a trade-off."
Finally, a nice word.
Clever comeback: "I'm short—anybody got a couple of bucks?"

So, there you have it. And by the way, that waitress was into me—she's only 18, but she loves older guys.